Last weekend I spent Friday and Saturday at the Partners in Policy Making (PIPM) conference. Ben and I jokingly call it the PIMP
conference. All jokes aside, this is an intense course with an extensive
time commitment. The application process was extreme and quite honestly,
I didn’t think I’d be among the few that are chosen to participate. I was
pleasantly surprised when my acceptance letter arrived in the mail; and a bit
shaken with fear of the unknown. As the kick-off weekend neared,
the less excited I became; and the more I wanted to tear up my acceptance
package and pretend I never received it.
I wanted to stay in the comfort of my own home, sleeping in the same bed
as my husband, versus sharing a hotel room with a complete stranger.
As I walked into the large halls of the conference
center, I wanted to back away from the intense information overload that I knew
was looming. Surprisingly, I didn’t run
in the opposite direction. I walked into
the conference room with my head held high, then preceded to sit at a table by
myself. Hahaha. Once the conference was underway,
everyone had to break the ice by introducing themselves and a brief description
of what inspired them to join PIPM. Me: “I’m doing this for my daughter. I want to make positive changes for the
disabled and their caregivers. I’m
hoping this will help my personal and professional growth.”
At the end of the
introductions, I was pleased to discover the room mostly consisted of parents
whose children have some type of disability. All different types: Mental
illness, Autism, Down syndrome, Asperger’s and Hypotonia. It was nice to
meet, interact, network and brainstorm with other moms and dads…moms and dads
that "get it". They can relate
to things that parents of typical children just don’t understand.
The primary speaker of
the weekend was phenomenal. He captured
my attention at the very start of the conference and maintained it the entire
weekend. While speaking to him during
dinner Friday evening, a light bulb went off.
I realized that some relationships in our life are fizzling out and it
has everything to do with where we are in our life. Right here, right now…I can’t waste my time
and energy on those that don’t want to be by our side and support us on the new
path/journey that god put us on. I must
accept that they want to back away, possibly from fear…fear of the unknown,
fear of what to say or how to speak to us.
What ever their issues might be I need to accept their choice. As much as it hurts, I must realize and
accept their choice to participate in our lives only during holiday
gatherings.
When our sessions came to an end Saturday
night, I
had been away from my family for one night and two days…that feels like an
eternity when you have little ones! I
missed my husband. He is my security
blanket when I am confused or overwhelmed.
Believe me, the amount of info that my brain absorbed that weekend was,
well...overwhelming & intense. I
must sift through the mounds of information, pick out what pertains to us at
this point in our lives and file the rest away until we need it. And I need to do this relatively soon, as our
next round of weekend-filled sessions will be coming up mid-march!
