Exactly As It Should

Last night I begrudgingly attended a Special Needs Planning Workshop.  It was hosted through a phenomenal program called delaware family-to-family.  I had signed up for the course 2 weeks prior and when it came time to attend it, I sorta didn’t want to go.  I was letting my fear and anxiety sway my desire to attend.   What if I heard things that I didn’t want to hear?  Like things that I know are realities, but I suppress them in hopes that if I don’t acknowledge it, than I can’t allow the reality become real to me.  Make sense?  No, I didn’t think so!   Hahaha.   It was a workshop based on planning for the future of those with special needs.  It was informative, eye opening, overwhelming and scary.  I say scary because for those with special needs, it’s a completely different than everything I have ever known.  Did you know that leaving money to a person with special needs, needs to be left to a “special Needs Trust”?  That when Natalie is over 18, if she were to receive more than $634, she would be disqualified for her health benefits and her supplemental income.  The lawyer that did a presentation and specializes in handling guardianships, trusts, and estate planning, he informed us that the average cost of a guardianship petition (beginning to end) is $3500.  That is only one piece of this 1000piece puzzle that Ben and I need to put together over the next few years.  It is overwhelming!  We are a one-income household.  Granted, it is our choice to be a one-income household.  Natalie is going to benefit greatly from not being in a daycare setting…less colds, more opportunities to receive PT, OT and speech therapy, more one-on-one attention, needs will be better met by mommy & daddy vs. a random daycare provider that might not understand the difference between Natalie & a typical peer.  There are just as many pros as there are cons when it comes to a one-income household.  So, I left the workshop frustrated at the lack of expendable income, our inability to afford a financial planner to plan for our girls’ future or afford an attorney to make certain our t’s are crossed and i’s are dotted.  As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I noticed an acquaintance of mine was having car trouble.  I stopped to make sure she was ok.  After a quick chat in the rain and another goodbye hug, we parted ways.  As I was pulling out of the parking lot it dawned on me to look at what I have right in front of me.  Look at what I do have, not what I don’t.  I decided to give the negativity a spin so I could view it from the positive side.  If it weren’t for Natalie, I wouldn’t have met the wonderful group of people that I just spent two hours with; I wouldn’t be involved in making positive changes in the lives of those with special needs & their caregivers.  I am so blessed to have all that I do in this life.  Even when I feel as if life isn’t panning out the way I think it should, I try to stop and realize…everything is unfolding exactly as it should.