Potty Training

Just the title of this post cracks me up; because only I know how it all went down.  Now I share with you the hilarity and insanity of our experience. 

    Hannah is 3, almost three and a half. My mom and grandmother are fairly vocal about their thoughts and opinions on their grand & great grandchildren.  The constant reminders that I was potty trained by age 2.5, I was starting to feel as if I was failing as a mom by not having Hannah in big girl undies.  Never mind the fact that Ben was a late bloomer in this department and Hannah looks and acts JUST like him, I was starting to have nightmares that she would attend kindergarten in diapers.

    I had tried lots of techniques: purchasing a potty that converts into a step stool and allowed it to take up permanent residence in our bathroom, with the hopes that one day she would want to sit on it…no such luck.  Tried pull-ups…she peed right through them, not giving two shits that she made the pretty blue jewels disappear.  I bribed her with M&M’s and ice cream and allowed her to come to the potty with me every time I had to pee- and with the amount of water I ingest per day…that’s a lot of trips!  To comply with the ‘go pee, receive an M&M’ tactic, I ended up gaining 5lbs from eating so many damn chocolate pieces.  Recently I tried a new technique and printed a princess reward chart with matching princess stickers, informing her they were from Cinderella and she would love to see Hannah at our trip in November wearing big girl panties!  Not even for “Cin-rella”, would she pee on the potty.  Hannah loves watching DVD’s in the car, so I bought Elmo’s Potty Time DVD from my cousin and left it in Hannah’s car seat.  Only knowing Elmo as a character on her diapers, Hannah requested to watch it.  I was excited.  She enjoyed Elmo’s antics and very descriptive words to describe ‘potty time’, but the interest in actually going on the potty ceased to exist. 

     One morning four weeks ago I was buzzing around the house preparing for our Tuesday trip up to AI.  Hannah had been up for maybe an hour, hour and a half at best, and I hear her screaming from the kitchen table.  As I make my way over to her, I see a puddle forming underneath her.  She had peed so much not only did she soak through an entire size 5 diaper, ENTIRE- as in front to back- she had soaked her shorts, shirt and shoes. 

I’m about to share something with you that I am NOT proud of…

  I lost it.  Yeah- tell me you honestly didn’t see that coming?!?

Me:  “HANNAH!  You peed through an entire freaking diaper.  How do you do that in an hour and a half?!?!  This is ridiculous!  I’m done!!  If I’m going to be cleaning your pee off the floor than you might as well be wearing panties!” ~ as I strip off her soaked clothes and clean up  the floor

Hannah: “NOOOOO!!!!!!”

Me: “YES!!!  This is obsurd”

Hannah: “No mommy!  I don’t want to wear panties.”

Me: “Well you’re gonna start wearing them today”- as I march her to the bathtub

Hannah: “Nah- I wear diapers!”

Me: “NOOOO MOOOOOORE DIAPERS!!!!!!” ~in my best mommy dearest voice.

From that moment on, she’s been wearing panties.  The best part?  By the end of that crazy day, she was excited about wearing panties!  Apparently all it took was a meltdown on my part. 

     That weekend my mom took Hannah on a tour of all the Marshalls & TJ maxx’s, hunting down every single pair of size 2-3 Princess panties, in the state of DE!   That evening Ben & I took her to Buy Buy Baby to purchase a Potette.  Let me tell you, this is the best invention, EVER!   It’s a potty seat that is small, designed for travel.  It comes with small, plastic (grocery like) bags that have an absorbent pad at the bottom.  You wrap the bag around the potty seat; your kid sits, takes a whiz and then you tie up the bag and toss it in the trash.  Granted this isn’t the best thing for the environment, even though the bags are recycled and biodegradable, but it’s not we are using this method every time she pees…just when we have limited access to a restroom.  It was a complete lifesaver when we were on our way home from New Jersey one evening.  Leave it to a newly potty training toddler to tell you she has to ‘pee-pee’ after you just passed a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike. J

     Hannah now thinks very highly of herself.  Whenever Natalie requires a diaper change, Hannah informs me that Natalie really "needs to learn how to go pee-pee and poopy on the potty!"  She doesn't quite understand that Natalie is still a few years away from this training.  Plus my liver will need the time to recover!!

Partners Presentation

My name is Shawn Rohe.  I joined Partners in Policymaking for both personal & professional reasons.  In order for you to fully understand my project…I have a story to share.

     In July of 2009, at 11 weeks gestational age, our unborn baby received a pre-natal diagnosis of a cystic hygroma.  

The over-seeing physician informed us that was indicative of a chromosomal abnormality and/or a heart defect.  He strongly urged us to have an amniocentesis performed to rule out a chromosomal defect.  After meeting with a genetic counselor and reviewing the risks of an amnio, which was a 1 in 200 chance of miscarriage, we decided it wasn’t worth it.  We’d barely survived the heartbreak of 4 miscarriages prior to being blessed with our 1^st daughter, Hannah. 

The potential of losing another baby, all for the results of a pre-natal diagnosis…a diagnosis that was not going to change the outcome of our pregnancy was not something we were wiling to jeopardize. This little being had surpassed the 10^th week, surviving longer than any of her angel sisters and brother…it was obvious he or she had intense strength and determination.

    In September 2009 we found out we were having a girl!!  

And it was confirmed that she indeed had a heart defect.  After dozens of ultrasounds and fetal echocardiograms, it was determined that baby girl had a complete AV canal defect, which meant she had a full combination of defects that would require surgery, after birth. 

 

At this point we knew very little about what to expect after her birth.  I wondered:              

•    What was the survival rate for this type of surgery? 
•     Will she be transported directly to AI immediately after birth?                                        
•    Will I get the opportunity to hold or even see her? 

·      

     We spent the next 4 months meeting with a handful of new doctors, from perinatologists to cardiac surgeons.  They all asked the same question “Why did you decline an amnio?”  We were consistent with our response of   “The results would not have changed the outcome of this pregnancy.  So why risk the chance of having a miscarriage?  Plus, heart conditions run in the family”.  

      The day finally came, January 28^th, we were finally going to meet our 2^nd child.  Not knowing how she would fair outside of the womb, our excitement had a head on collision with trepidation.  At twelve in the afternoon Natalie Rose was born and whisked away to a room adjacent to mine to be assessed by the NICU team.  After what felt like an eternity, my husband walks over to me with a swaddled bundle; only her cherub little face sticking out. 

 Drinking in her adorable features I began to notice Natalie had distinct characteristics.  In that moment, I knew she had Down syndrome.  While my initial reaction was fear and panic, I flashed back to our meeting with her cardiac surgeon, when he said “the survival rate for this type of open heart surgery is higher if the child has Down syndrome.” 

Although those words were comforting it did not remove all of my anxieties and concerns.  That evening I sobbed as I held her for the 1^st time, feeling as if she wasn’t mine to keep…as if she were on loan from heaven.

     Natalie’s first month of life outside of the womb was met with two NICU admissions

·      a bad case of jaundice

·      a diagnosis of failure to thrive

·      a feeding tube

·      and a week long stay on the cardiac unit at AI DuPont hospital for children

   

     Exactly 4 weeks to the day that Natalie was born, we had our first meeting with a Child Development Watch service coordinator.  As Jude came into our home, she was met with two parents who looked like deer caught in headlights.  My husband, myself, and Jude sat around our dining room table as we reviewed our welcome packet from Child Development Watch and collaboratively filled out Natalie’s IFSP.   No matter how hard we tried, Ben and I could barely focus on the information being presented or expected of us, as we stare cautiously at a gray and dismal 28-day-old Natalie.  Suffice it to say, as Jude left our house that afternoon, the packet of information she had just reviewed with us was literally tossed into the growing stack of information we were being overwhelmed with. 

      A mere 20 days after that meeting, Natalie was rushed from her pediatrician’s office to AI Children's Hospital via ambulance.  As it turned out, Natalie contracted a respiratory virus that was putting a strain on her already failing heart.  At this point it became a matter of assisting her medically as much as possible. 

     We needed to keep Natalie stable, allowing her to recover from the virus so we could proceed with her open-heart surgery.

    One month from that frightening day, Ben and I were in awe.  We were finally taking home a happy, heart-healthy little girl.  Natalie was ours…to keep.

    Slowly but surely, I began sifting through the pile of information that had been tossed aside during those challenging first few months of Natalie’s life. 

     As I leafed through the Child Development Watch packet, I didn’t find much of it intriguing…nothing really stood out.  I saw a pamphlet labeled “It’s Time to Transition.  At Age 3, Things Change!”  I thought to myself, This is GREAT!  Natalie’s not even 1, so I can put this off for another 2 years!!

     Two months later I received a flyer in the mail from Child Development Watch in regards to there Family Forum Meeting.  Low and behold, it was about transitioning from the Birth-to-Three program to the Preschool program.  I registered right away and gave myself a big pat on the back.  I thought I was being a gold star parent by attending that meeting when my little one was only 13 months old.  I entered the forum with my head held high…proud of myself for being ahead of the game.  I left the meeting feeling deflated and blind-sided.  There was so much to the transition process that I did not know.  How could I have missed the importance of preparing for this transition from the very beginning??   I had beat myself up over that question for the longest time.  Until it dawned on me that during the time frame we were provided with that information, our minds were otherwise occupied.

     I’ve made it my mission to design a magnetic checklist to be handed out in the CDW welcome packet.   The service watch coordinator can review the checklist with the parents or guardian and it will be designed to ensure they are prepared for the transition process.  It is my hope that the key information will be in the forefront of the parents mind and with it’s magnetic powers, it will remain in a visible location

·      Possibly the fridge

·      Or the family’s communication board

 and won’t be tossed aside into the dreaded information overload pile.  Creating a less stressful…less overwhelming process, for all.

Ear Tubes: A Confession

     Yeah, I’ll admit it.  I was that mom.  I felt that doctors were on an ear tubes kick.  Every direction I turned, I would hear of another child having surgery for tubes!  I became a determined mother.  Determined to keep my kids healthy, allowing my OCD to skyrocket to epic proportions; constant hand wiping, disinfecting toys & surfaces the girls might touch or touch them.  Truly believing if I kept colds and other illnesses at bay, my girls would not end up with ear infections and in turn not end up with ear tubes.  

     Frankly, I was embarrassed for being so narrow-minded and thinking that tubes were only for children (and the occasional adult) with chronic ear infections.   It took an audiologist, speaking at a conference, for the light bulb to finally go off!  That’s bad, isn’t it??  It’s ok, you can tell me!  My only excuse is that my brain is so flooded with a constant influx of information that I occasionally only see things for there face value. 

     After I spent an hour listening to Erin Pospychala present on ‘Down Syndrome and Hearing’, every thing became instantly clear.  The information was explained in manner that had never been approached before, something that A.I.’s audiology department didn’t have…Time.  Ben and I always thought we understood the feedback we received from Natalie’s hearing tests, but it wasn’t until that fateful Sunday morning that everything came full circle.  It was like a scene from a movie when the main character has a flash and his/her lost memories come flooding back. In an instant, things that were previously clouded suddenly became crystal clear.  I walked away from that conference stunned and in disbelief.  All that I thought I knew was…well…inaccurate.  To this day, Natalie has yet to pass a newborn hearing screening and she’s been tested about a dozen times.   According to the VRA, that’s been completed twice in the past six months, she has a moderate hearing loss in both ears. 

     It’s clear to us that Natalie can hear, but just how well?  We are at a crucial point in her life for speech development and I want to be certain that she gets the most from her speech therapy, resuming August 24^th (more on that story later!).  I‘m proud to say, for her upcoming ENT appointment, I’m going in with an open mind and a list of questions…all thanks to Erin!

          Every single night I read and sing to Natalie.  And every single night when I sing “You Are My Sunshine”, she places her left cheek on my left cheek positioning my lips directly against her ear.  This was one of the moments that came full circle when listening to Erin’s words.  Natalie knows she can hear me better and can feel the vibration of my words from my face against hers.  She is such a smart little cookie!!  

Something Amazing

This weekend I witnessed something amazing.  Something so novel to me, that had I not already been on my knees, it would have brought me there...

 

     We attended a family member’s 5^th birthday party at Pump it Up in Bethesda, MD.  What a rush one can get from that place!  We arrived early, per the information card, to sign waivers for the kids and sign-in all the adults in our party, including Ben, Kelly (even though she totally acted like a kid in the back seat on the 2 hour drive) & myself.  Before we knew it, all of Kate’s friends had arrived and it was time to head into the first room of moon bounce heaven.  By the time I had a moment to orient myself, park the stroller and slip into a pair of socks, Hannah was gone.  Ben saw the panic in my eyes and informed me that she had a green glow necklace on.  Pump it Up gets a thumbs up for marking each child in a different color glow necklace for easy child identification!!  Ben and I are in full happy mommy and daddy mode, watching our 3 year old bounce around with approximately 10 other kids in what I would basically refer to as, a child version of a padded room.  Hannah and Kelly decided to test out the two obstacle bouncies in the corner of the room that no other children had discovered, yet.  As Kelly and Hannah disappear through the arch opening, Natalie starts kicking her feet and doing her “put me down” whine, so I obliged.  She TOOK OFF for the entrance to the obstacle bouncy!  I let her climb up and down the padded entrance.  It was a giant padded, wavy bolster (imagine a wide padded, wavy slide) that I helped her climb up (she only required my hands in place to give her feet something to push off of).  Once at the top of the bolster, I would have her turn around and slide down it.  She was quite content with this activity, but as other children discovered the hidden moon bounce, the entrance became crowded so we moved along.  Following Kelly & Hannah as they headed for the giant slide Natalie had the same reaction and this bouncy had the same bolster at the entrance, so I let her climb it.  Only this time, sliding down it was NOT an option…she wanted to keep going!!  I let her crawl up to the stairs and that’s where I stopped her.  It was a narrow area and kids were getting anxious and shove-y.  We continued this pattern a few more times before she became really pissed that I wouldn’t allow her to climb the stairs.  Kelly offered to take her up and bring her down the slide.  At first I was hesitant, the PIU staff were watching this bounce and I didn’t want to get kicked out for breaking any rules.  Upon talking to the birthday girls parents, apparently no one under 2 is supposed to be participating.  Screw it!  Natalie aged 6months in 6 seconds.   I handed her off to Kelly and stepped back to watch Natalie’s reaction as she came down the slide.   Kelly lingered at the top of the slide, allowing other kids to go ahead of her.  With each passing child, I could see Natalie’s uncertainty subside.  By the time Kelly and Natalie came down the slide, Natalie had a huge smile…she LOVED IT!  Next up, the circular moon bounce and this time I got in!  Hannah, Kelly, myself and Natalie had the whole moon bounce to ourselves.  I ran around with Natalie in my arms and she responded with the biggest, deepest laugh I’ve ever heard out of her…a full on belly laugh!  Then I set her down near the netting where Ben was standing, watching us.  She looked around hesitantly as she watched a few kids clamber in, but once she adjusted to the bouncing, she turned over onto her belly and took off as fast as she could with her army crawl, chasing after the other children.  She was in her glory, giggling and cracking herself up so hard, she would have to stop b/c she didn’t have the core strength to laugh and hold herself up at the same time.  It was at this moment, as I was kneeling next to her, my eyes well up with tears.  My heart had become so over-joyed that it spilled over into my belly, giving me butterflies.  I’ve never been so delighted to see Natalie interact with children older than her…and she didn’t even have to be walking in order attain this experience.  I just watched in awe of this, 11^th percentile for height, little girl with low tone, bouncing around in a giant moon bounce having the time of her life!  On several occasions she took a knee or elbow to the back or head, yet she kept on truckin’.  I have a feeling she might end up being our tom-boy, that Ben and I so strongly desired…perhaps our little sports diva!?! 

We’ll just have to wait and see!

As we drove home that evening with a car full of 5 sleepy Rohe’s (yeah- Kelly counts as a Rohe), 2 bathroom breaks, and a bout of traffic…my feelings of utter elation never waivered.  I can say with full certainty, it was hands down one of the best days in recent Rohe family adventuresJ

Sorry- No pics from our PIU experience...but here's a cute one of Natalie!!